


Ten Thousand Worlds Away

by EchoResonance



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Lance can't control his word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 13:00:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoResonance/pseuds/EchoResonance
Summary: “Lance, your homesickness is going to get all of us killed at this rate.”“That’s none of your business!” Lance snaps.“Everyone else here has figured out a way to deal with it,,” Keith says. His voice isn’t unkind, but it’s cold. “You’re the only one that--”“Look man, just shut up!” Lance snaps, rounding on him. “What would you know about it, anyway? It’s easy for you to say we all need to get over missing our families”“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Keith demands.“You didn’t leave anybody behind!” Lance snarls, the words tearing from him with enough force to scrape against his throat. “You have no idea what it feels like to miss a family because you don’t have one !”





	

Homesickness hits Lance hard today. He’s not sure what it is about breakfast with the others or the ridiculous training exercises or Coran’s mustache that makes him miss Varadero Beach. All he knows is that he can’t focus on anything but the sand and the ocean and the familiar skies he hasn’t seen in far too long and the family that has no idea where he is. And it’s affecting his performance something awful.

The invisible maze confuses Lance twice as much as normal. Even with Hunk guiding him he manages to kick, brush, and run face-first into the walls so many times that there’s a residual tingling throughout his body. Everyone can tell that something’s wrong, but nobody wants to bring it up and Lance fervently prays that they won’t. All he needs is some alone time to sort himself out and it’ll be fine. They can go back to training like nothing happened and it’ll go without a hitch. Until next time.

He wishes he was so lucky.

“Lance, where the hell is your head?”

Lance bristles as the walls come down and Keith advances. Past him, he sees Hunk reemerging from the control room, lips tight and brow furrowed.

“In space,” he snaps. “I could tell you where to find yours, if you want.”

“Lance…” Shiro warns.

“You’re all over the place man!” Keith says, coming to a stop maybe a yard away and crossing his arms over his  chest. “If the maze’s shocks were any stronger you’d be out cold already!”

“Good thing they’re not that strong, then,” Lance responds. He turns pointedly away from Keith. “Can I try again?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Hunk says.

“Huh? Why not?” Lance blusters. “We almost had it that time!”

“No you didn’t,” Keith growls.

“Who asked you, Mullet?” Lance snaps.

“You hit the wall forty-seven times, dude,” Pidge says, lips twitching. “Even if the shocks aren’t all that strong, I’m surprised you’re not twitching.”

“Oh come on, there’s no way I--”

“Lance, your homesickness is going to get all of us killed at this rate.”

Lance whips around to scowl at Keith. The red paladin stands with his hands on his hips and his brow deeply furrowed as he glares. Behind him Hunk shuffles his feet uncomfortably, and over by the doorway there’s a sharp intake of breath that Lance doesn’t turn to identify.

“That’s none of your business!” Lance snaps.

“It is when it endangers the entire team!” Keith retorts. “You can’t keep doing th--”

“Oh sure, why don’t I just turn it off?!” Lance says, fingers curling into fists at his sides. “Because it’s that easy, right?!”

“Everyone else here has figured out a way to deal with it, man,” Keith says. His voice isn’t unkind, but it’s cold. “You’re the only one that--”

“Look man, just shut up!” Lance snaps, rounding on him.

The ferocity of his tone actually forces Keith back a step, but he’s too pissed to notice or care. Lance follows him, bristling in fury and at the same time thrilled at the prospect of letting out some of this pent-up emotion, the frustration that’s prickling at him. It doesn’t matter that Keith isn’t the source of it, not really, because he’s poking at it with a stick and that’s enough.

“What exactly am I supposed to do, huh?” he continues, and Keith’s shock has already faded and his expression is hard. “I have an entire family that I just up and left and they have _no idea_! If you expect me to skip around singing campfire songs, then you--”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Keith says, and now bears down on Lance, violet eyes blazing. “I’m not telling you to get over it, I’m telling you to find a way to cop--”

“What would you know about it, anyway?” Lance shouts over Keith, planting his hands against the other’s chest and shoving. Keith stumbles back, but not as far as Lance wanted. “Sure, it’s easy to _say_ we all need to get over missing our families when it’s _you!_ ”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Keith demands.

“What do you think, asshole?” Lance sneers. “You can tell me to get over it and act all high and mighty, but you don’t have _any idea_ what it’s like!”

“You think I don’t miss Earth?!” Keith exclaims. “I didn’t ask for this anymore than you did!”

“But you didn’t leave anybody behind!” Lance snarls, the words tearing from him with enough force to scrape against his throat. “You have no idea what it feels like to miss a family because _you don’t have one_!”

“LANCE!”

The chorus of voices that turns on him doesn’t include the red paladin’s. He looks around, fuming, and is met with five incredulous expressions. Hunk stares at him with an open-mouthed look of horror and the way Pidge’s nose wrinkles suggests they just stepped in something best left unidentified. Coran seems at a loss, as if Lance had spoken in a language he’s never heard before. At his shoulder Allura looks as if Lance just told her to muck out the castle’s entire sewage system by herself and let _him_ pilot the castle ship. And Shiro… Lance feels his heart sink. He’s never seen Shiro look so disappointed.

A thunderstorm on the training deck would have caused less tension in the air. The longer he stands there, the harder it is for Lance not to look at Keith, but he can’t avoid everybody’s gaze at once. Nobody says a word, and that perhaps is what is the most unnerving. Someone is always ready with a reprimand for Lance at any given moment, so the silence is unfamiliar and oppressive.

The noise that breaks the silence is soft. Footsteps, slow and steady, moving away from the center toward the door. Allura and Shiro share a glance, and the princess breaks off from the rest to hurry away.

“Keith, wait!” she calls. Both she and Keith disappear a moment later.

“I think it’s time to call it a day,” says Shiro, eyes still on Lance.

Without a word Hunk, Pidge, and Coran all but sprint out of the room. There’s a moment where Lance tries to slip away with them, but with a total lack of surprise he finds the back of his collar in Shiro’s iron grip. He watches the others hurry through the doorway, a pit in the bottom of his stomach opening when the doors close and Shiro releases him.

When Lance reluctantly turns to face Shiro he refuses to meet his eyes.

“Lance,” Shiro begins.

He flinches.

“I know you’re stressed and you miss home,” Shiro says, and his voice is amazingly patient. “But that’s no excuse to completely disregard your teammates like that. You know that was uncalled for.”

Lance gnaws at his lip, gaze fixed on the tips of his shoes.

“I know he comes off kind of harsh,” Shiro continues with a sigh. “But Keith _is_ trying to help.”

A frustrated groan escapes Lance and he scrubs a hand through his hair. Finally he brings himself to look Shiro in the eye, his stomach twisting further at the patient but sad look he wears.

“I know,” Lance grumbles. “It’s just--damnit, he was _right_. That’s what pissed me off the most, I think.”

A smile curves the corners of Shiro’s lips. He steps forward and settles a hand on Lance’s shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Try telling him that,” Shiro suggests.

“Like he’ll wanna listen to anything I say,” Lance mumbles.

“He’s not one to hold a grudge, believe me,” Shiro promises. “Just...try to keep it civil. Alright?”

Lance chews on the inside of his cheek, then nods once.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” he murmurs. “You’re right.”

He glances down at himself.

“But I might clean up and change clothes, first. I smell disgusting.”

* * *

 

Lance arrives outside Keith’s room just as Allura is leaving. The princess blinks at him and the slight smile she wears falls away as if Lance was wiping down an eraser board.

“Is he…” Lance mumbles, looking toward the closed door and scratching the back of his neck. “Can I…?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Allura says. “I will not be your...what do you humans call it? Middle-man?”

There’s enough of Lance left to chuckle at that. The noise fades quickly and he heaves a sigh, raking his fingers through his hair and then sliding his hands into his pockets. Apparently his open anxiety earns a little bit of sympathy from Allura, who reaches out with slender fingers and briefly squeezes his wrist in silence. She turns and strides away to leave Lance standing alone outside the door. He takes a deep breath and raises a hand to knock.

The door slides open before he makes contact and faces him with a wide-eyed Keith. He’s dressed in his usual clothes, but he’s holding his bayard in a gloved hand and his hair is tied back in a stunted ponytail.

 _Back to the training deck already?_ Lance thinks, almost amused.

“What?” Keith barks, his surprise draining away to be replaced with cold indifference.

“Ah, I…” Lance begins, unable to maintain eye contact in favor of a spot on the wall over Keith’s right shoulder. “I just...wanted to talk.”

“That’s nothing new,” Keith bites.

Lance grits his teeth and forces himself to take a long, slow breath.

“Keith, I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

That at least takes Keith by surprise. Enough so that the anger slips from him and leaves his eyes widened in confusion. Lance takes that to mean he can continue.

“What I said, it was...I was an ass, and I’m sorry,” he says. “And I know you probably wanna knock my teeth in and I’d deserve it a little, but I’m gonna request that you not?”

Keith looks at him for a long, terrifying second. His violet eyes are as sharp as his sword and make Lance feel curiously exposed. Then the red paladin steps back, gesturing inside his room when Lance doesn’t understand what he’s implying.

“I doubt you wanna do this in the hallway,” Keith guesses.

Lance ducks his head and shuffles inside, trying to ignore the embarrassment burning the back of his neck. Keith follows him in, making sure his door shuts behind them before sitting next to Lance on his unmade bed and leans his elbows on his knees.

“Well?” he prompts.

Lance doesn’t bother trying to keep appearances. He’s already lost his cool in spectacular fashion, and if nothing else Keith at least deserves to be told why. It won’t excuse what he said, but at least Keith might understand.

“I… I know I’m holding the team back,” he says, voice scarcely a whisper. “Quiznak, look at me, everyone keeps having to hold my hand through this. I know I should just get over it, I _know_ , but…”

“I didn’t mean _get over it_ when I was talking to you,” Keith says. “I know you don’t just _get over_ homesickness. Especially when you’re literally worlds away from home. I just meant you’ve gotta figure out how to let it out. Like, Hunk cooks, and Shiro trains, and Pidge messes with their computer. Everyone’s got something except you.”

“I know, I know. It’s just so _frustrating_ ,” Lance mumbles, swiping furiously at the moisture hanging on his lashes. “Everyone else is _fine_ , and here I am fucking everything up like usual because--”

“Lance,” Keith interrupts sharply.

Lance looks over. The red paladin is watching him with an expression as close to sympathy as Lance has ever seen Keith throw his way. He reaches over slowly, cautiously, and his calloused hands hesitate for just a moment before they settle on Lance’s shoulder, their heat burning through his jacket and t-shirt like they aren’t there.

“You don’t fuck everything up, and no one here is _fine_ ,” Keith says. “All I was saying was that they’ve figured out how to deal with not being fine. And you need to do the same.”

“No, no, I know, I just--just need to try harder, I guess,” Lance chokes. “I can, I’ll try harder, you’re right, it’s just--”

“Hard. Yeah.”

They sit in silence for a moment. It’s a better silence than earlier, less stifling and more comfortable. Lance sniffles into the sleeve of his jacket and Keith says nothing of it, just retracts his hand and looks awkwardly around his room.

“What do you do?” Lance wonders after a moment.

“Huh?”

“How do you...deal with it?” he elaborates, neck warming.

Keith tilts his head to the side and raises an eyebrow. He waves his bayard in front of Lance’s nose and it might be his imagination, but Lance thinks he sees the hints of a smirk tugging at Keith’s lips.

“Right. Stupid question,” Lance sighs. Then: “You were going back to the training deck when I showed up, weren’t you?”

Keith glances at his door.

“Yeah.”

“Sorry for keeping you,” Lance says, rising to his feet. “And for all this mess.”

Keith cocks an eyebrow at him and stands as well.

“You can go,” Lance tells him. “I said what I wanted to say. So…”

“I didn’t need your permission,” Keith snorts.

However, he doesn’t leave. He looks over Lance with an unnervingly sharp gaze. Lance wonders what Keith sees when he looks at him and quickly decides he doesn’t want to know. If this day is anything to go by, Keith has no reason to think of him as anything more than an immature and self-centered brat that’ll attack anything around him instead of admitting he’s messing up.

“Lance,” he says softly, drawing Lance’s attention back to him.

His eyes are softer.

“You’re not alone up here. You don’t have to deal with it by yourself.”

The blue paladin stares at the boy at his side. His eyes sting and he can’t help the way moisture gathers in the corners. Keith stiffens and the gentility falls from his face, replaced by panic.

“Lance, what--”

“Shut up,” he mumbles, fisting his eyes furiously. “This is all backwards. I was supposed to apologize and comfort _you_.”

Keith barks out a laugh.

“You comforting me,” he chuckles. “That’ll be the day.”

“Shut up,” Lance repeats.

Keith does. In the silence that follows Lance tries to stem the tears trickling down his cheeks with marginal success. The whole time Keith says and does nothing but fiddles with his bayard in his lap, shoulder occasionally brushing Lance’s.

“You know,” Keith murmurs at last. Lance jumps. “Shiro was kind of the first family I’d ever had. When he left on the Kerberos mission, that was the first time I actually knew what it felt like to miss someone.”

Lance looks around, swiping almost absently at the moisture hanging from his lashes. Keith deactivates his bayard and sets it on the comforter beside him, leaning back on his hands.

“I never got what other cadets were talking about before,” Keith continues. “About wishing they could see their parents or little siblings. I never really made friends; I moved around too much. The Garrison was the first place I’d stayed long enough to meet people.”

“Keith, you don’t have to--”

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Keith asks, eyes on the ceiling. “Not knowing what’s happening to them while you’re not there. Not knowing if they’re thinking about you.”

“I…” Lance chokes. “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

“That’s how I felt about the Kerberos mission. It’s how I feel about everyone here, too,” Keith murmurs. “I guess...well, I guess you all have your actual families to worry about, so I get why you don’t feel the same.”

Lance stares at Keith.

“But even if you don’t feel all that close to...all of us,” Keith says, oblivious to Lance’s incredulity. “We’re still your friends. I bet even Pidge would listen if you wanted to complain to them.”

“Keith, what are you talking about?” Lance demands. Keith looks around at him. “How could you think I don’t consider all you idiots family after all this?!”

Keith seems unmoved by Lance’s words.

“You really want me to answer that?” Keith wonders.

Lance blinks. Then he realizes and ducks his head.

“Ah, no,” he says, contrite. “Sorry, I just...I do think we’re a family. Really. I’m just really bad at this…”

“No kidding,” Keith snorts.

Then he claps a hand on Lance’s shoulder and rises to his feet.

“I’m sure Shiro sent you after me, so you can go report back to him,” he says with a smirk. “I’m heading to the training deck.”

“Surprise surprise,” Lance chuckles, standing as well.

Outside Keith’s room, the boys hesitate. Avoid eye contact. Scuff their shoes on the floor.

“Hey,” Keith says, eyes looking somewhere past Lance’s left ear. “If, uh, when you’re done talking with Shiro, you wanna join me, we could spar?”

Lance stares. Then a slow smile spreads across his cheeks.

“If you wanted to get up close and personal, all you had to do was ask,” he purrs, winking conspiratorially.

Keith blinks at him.

“I just did?” he says in confusion.

Lance sighs and holds a hand to his forehead.

“Someday you’ll appreciate innuendos,” he says heavily. “Sure, man, I’ll come kick your ass once I’m done with Shiro.”

Keith scoffs.

“You couldn’t kick my ass if I had both hands tied behind my back,” he says.

“That a challenge, Mullet?”

“It’s a promise.”

“Oh, it’s on!”


End file.
